Post by Katniss on Aug 4, 2014 16:23:46 GMT -5
((I was kind of really in the mood to write today. It's super dreary outside and I am incredibly bored. I haven't been on since the beginning of summer and I am terribly sorry. Life is just busy and wonderful at the moment and I never find time to write anymore. so I will try to make more time! alright. This is Joys journal and just a letter she wrote to herself. enjoy ))
Dear Journal,
Life is hard. I learned that at a very young age. I fell in love for the first time when I was fifteen years old. His name was Ashton Black. He was absolutely wonderful. Tall, dark hair, pale skin, lip piercings, brown eyes, black clothes. Most would take one look at him and walk the other way. But not me. Young Joy Peka wanted more. He was edgy and different. I liked that. I liked how he was quiet. He didn't smile much, but when he did, it was the only thing that seemed to matter in the world. He was friendly once you actually got to know him. We became great friends. I helped him start his music career and we wrote songs together. I remember the first time he kissed me. It was like being struck by lightning. Too many sparks to count and I was completely knocked off my feet. I remember helping him through tough times. I remember making love for the first time. I remember holding our baby for the first time. I remember it all like it was yesterday.
Except its not really the truth.
Although our story was beautiful, it was dark. I was used. I was always second choice to him. I followed him around for years ready to be there when he needed me. Ashton Black was in love with Ember White. Ember was beautiful and smart and kind and talented. How could anyone not love her? I was Ashton's crutch. He turned to me when Ember knocked him down. She left him many times and each time he turned to me. I could never say no. I loved Ashton as much as he loved Ember. Maybe even more. I was a fool. I look back and wonder why I was like that. Yet, I regret nothing.
If it wasn't for Ashton, I wouldn't have Luke. My amazing and talented son. I am so proud of him and he was the result of my rough past. I also met James. I just don't know how to let James in. I just have to remind myself that the past is the past. James loves me and will take care of me and Luke. Everything will be okay in the end.
-Joy Peka
Dear Journal,
Life is hard. I learned that at a very young age. I fell in love for the first time when I was fifteen years old. His name was Ashton Black. He was absolutely wonderful. Tall, dark hair, pale skin, lip piercings, brown eyes, black clothes. Most would take one look at him and walk the other way. But not me. Young Joy Peka wanted more. He was edgy and different. I liked that. I liked how he was quiet. He didn't smile much, but when he did, it was the only thing that seemed to matter in the world. He was friendly once you actually got to know him. We became great friends. I helped him start his music career and we wrote songs together. I remember the first time he kissed me. It was like being struck by lightning. Too many sparks to count and I was completely knocked off my feet. I remember helping him through tough times. I remember making love for the first time. I remember holding our baby for the first time. I remember it all like it was yesterday.
Except its not really the truth.
Although our story was beautiful, it was dark. I was used. I was always second choice to him. I followed him around for years ready to be there when he needed me. Ashton Black was in love with Ember White. Ember was beautiful and smart and kind and talented. How could anyone not love her? I was Ashton's crutch. He turned to me when Ember knocked him down. She left him many times and each time he turned to me. I could never say no. I loved Ashton as much as he loved Ember. Maybe even more. I was a fool. I look back and wonder why I was like that. Yet, I regret nothing.
If it wasn't for Ashton, I wouldn't have Luke. My amazing and talented son. I am so proud of him and he was the result of my rough past. I also met James. I just don't know how to let James in. I just have to remind myself that the past is the past. James loves me and will take care of me and Luke. Everything will be okay in the end.
-Joy Peka